Podcast Episode - Don’t Turn Your Back on Yourself

Listen to Podcast Episode:

On today’s episode, Suze discusses why our negative thoughts, fears and actions limit our potential and prevent us from being safe, strong and secure.

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Podcast Transcript:

00:00:21

Music: Music In

00:00:31

Suze: July 24, 2022.

00:00:37

Suze: I know

00:00:38

Suze: I'm here, but I'm really not here. Because I'm really as you're listening to this

00:00:44

Suze: in British Columbia,

00:00:47

Suze: salmon fishing with KT and her family and friends and I went for it. I totally went for it.

00:00:56

Suze: But before I left, I spent a lot of time,

00:01:01

Suze: a lot of time

00:01:03

Suze: reading many of the emails that you have sent in to asksuzepodcast@gmail.com.

00:01:11

Suze: And for some reason I do this thing where I like to spin them

00:01:15

Suze: and up comes an email and I punch it and I go, okay, that's the one that needs my attention.

00:01:21

Suze: And one,

00:01:22

Suze: after another, after another

00:01:26

Suze: were from women

00:01:28

Suze: who were in there either mid-forties, mid-fifties, mid-sixties, even mid-seventies,

00:01:36

Suze: all having been left by their husbands,

00:01:40

Suze: their spouses or they've even chosen to leave.

00:01:45

Suze: And somehow

00:01:47

Suze: one after another,

00:01:49

Suze: they've gotten themselves into a state

00:01:53

Suze: of such incredible anxiety and fear that they are paralyzed.

00:01:58

Suze: They are paralyzed from doing anything that is possibly

00:02:02

Suze: constructive for themselves,

 00:02:04

Suze: possibly even positive for themselves.

00:02:08

Suze: They have given up hope. They have given up faith. They have all decided that they're never gonna trust anybody again. They're always going to live a life of fear. They're never going to feel secure and on and on and on.

00:02:22

Suze: And I've spent hours,

00:02:24

Suze: and hours and hours,

00:02:28

Suze: writing them back,

00:02:29

Suze: going through their finances with them, one by one, statement by statement. Don't do this. Don't do that. No,

00:02:38

Suze: here's what I want you to do.

00:02:41

Suze: But even with the best advice from me,

00:02:45

Suze: they're all like 00:02:46

Suze: can't.

00:02:48

Suze: I don't know.

 00:02:51

Suze: So KT saw that I was angry.

00:02:54

Suze: And whenever I'm angry, she said go do a podcast,

00:02:57

Suze: go do a podcast.

00:03:00

Suze: Because it's not about anger at them.

00:03:04

Suze: It's about anger at the fact

00:03:08

Suze: that we turn our backs on our own power.

00:03:14

Suze: Anger because it really is

00:03:17

Suze: all of our pre fear found of loss

00:03:20

Suze: that keeps us from gain.

00:03:23

Suze: All of us,

00:03:25

Suze: or the ones anyway that I've been reading. They are holding on so tightly

00:03:30

Suze: to the little bit that they have,

00:03:33

Suze: that their hands aren't open to receive that, which is meant to come their way.

00:03:40

Suze: And then you put on top of that

00:03:43

Suze: some of the worst,

00:03:45

Suze: the absolute worst financial advice I have ever seen in my life

00:03:51

Suze: being piled on top

00:03:54

Suze: of the fact that these women are emotional wrecks right now. And rightfully so.

00:04:00

Suze: It's never easy to be left.

00:04:02

Suze: It's also never easy to leave.

00:04:05

Suze: It's hard to do so,

00:04:08

Suze: but sometimes you have to just

00:04:11

Suze: get through it.

00:04:13

Suze: And it takes time.

00:04:15

Suze: But to have financial advisors giving advice

00:04:20

Suze: that is 1000% wrong,

00:04:24

Suze: that would hurt these women,

00:04:27

Suze: it makes me even go nuts.

00:04:29

Suze: So of course I do my best to try to help them.

00:04:33

Suze: And then I think about the women and money podcast

00:04:37

Suze: and I think about how I've said now,

00:04:41

Suze: not just on this podcast but on the Suze Orman Show, every talk I've given. every book I've written, every blog I've ever posted? I've said

00:04:52

Suze: I hate

00:04:54

Suze: variable and universal life insurance policies.

00:04:59

Suze: But it's as if

00:05:01

Suze: it goes in one ear and out the other.

00:05:05

Suze: I tell you things that you should not be investing in,

00:05:09

Suze: and it goes in one air and out the other.

00:05:12

Suze: What happens to you when you sit down in front of a financial advisor,

00:05:19

Suze: and here she says to you, this is what I think you should do. And you just say, okay.

00:05:25

Suze: What causes you to give up your power?

00:05:29

Suze: What causes you to make moves that are so radically wrong and that will hurt you financially speaking rather than help you?

00:05:41

Suze: Is it that you just want somebody else to take care of you?

00:05:45

Suze: Is it because when you've been left, even if you have left someone you still want to be taken care of and you want to put your trust in the hands of somebody else that looks like they can take care of you?

00:06:00

Suze: I want you to be, what what have I begged all of you to be over these years? How do we end every single podcast?

00:06:08

Suze: To be strong, safe and secure. But to do that,

00:06:13

Suze: you have to have common sense.

00:06:17

Suze: You cannot just take a financial advisors word for anything.

00:06:23

Suze: If they tell you that, you could simply put in $15,000 a year for 20 years and then you would have $1 million.

00:06:34

Suze: Can you just simply do the math?

00:06:37

Suze: Can you do the math and see if that is even possible?

00:06:42

Suze: How much would your money have to earn per year for you to have $1 million dollars

00:06:48

Suze: after 20 years.

00:06:52

Suze: But no you don't.

00:06:54

Suze: You just sit there and go, okay, I'll give you $15,000 a year.

00:06:59

Suze: Okay, I'll do this. Okay, I'll do that.

00:07:05

Suze: I'm telling you,

00:07:06

Suze: you have more common sense

00:07:09

Suze: within your body. Seriously.

00:07:13

Suze: Within your being. Then you have any idea.

00:07:17

Suze: If you would just simply be willing to take the time

00:07:22

Suze: to go within,

00:07:24

Suze: to ask questions,

00:07:27

Suze: to look at it on paper and say to the financial advisor, okay. I hear that this is what you say I have. Show me where it says, I'm guaranteed to have this.

00:07:41

Suze: Show me,

00:07:43

Suze: show me.

00:07:45

Suze: But you don't,

00:07:47

Suze: you don't.

00:07:49

Suze: You continue to go into another relationship with blinders on,

00:07:56

Suze: feeling like,

00:07:57

Suze: okay,

00:07:58

Suze: I'll just do this. It'll be okay.

00:08:02

Suze: I need you

00:08:04

Suze: to come from this day forward,

00:08:07

Suze: from a place of common sense.

00:08:11

Suze: I need you to come from this day forward to understand that your words and your thoughts are more powerful than you have any idea.

00:08:23

Suze: They have the power to create, or the power to destroy. And the choice is up to you.

00:08:28

Suze: When you say you can't,

00:08:31

Suze: you never, ever will.

00:08:33

Suze: When you say you're never going to trust anybody ever again,

00:08:38

Suze: you never will.

00:08:40

Suze: When you say I am never going to be secure again, you never will.

00:08:48

Suze: Because your words are mantra,

00:08:51

Suze: your words are will create your future.

00:08:55

Suze: I've told you this before. I've told you be very, very careful about what you think.

00:09:01

Suze: Because what you think you eventually say, be very careful about the words you use because your words become your actions, your actions become your habits and your habits become your destiny.

00:09:13

Suze: But yet I read it over,

00:09:16

Suze: and over and over again.

00:09:20

Suze: And what you hear from me over and over again

00:09:25

Suze: are the words that I've just said,

00:09:28

Suze: is the other saying I have, which is to be a warrior and to not turn your back on the battlefield.

00:09:35

Suze: And what is that battlefield? That battlefield is your life.

00:09:39

Suze: You are fighting for your own freedom.

00:09:42

Suze: You are fighting for financial security. You are fighting so that you can wake up one morning and feel true joy all over again,

00:09:53

Suze: and yet then what do you say to me?

00:09:56

Suze: But Suze, I never want to be dependent on anybody again. I never want my kids

00:10:06

Suze: to know what I'm going through.

00:10:08

Suze: And I'm sitting there thinking to myself, why not?

00:10:12

Suze: You gave everything to those kids

00:10:15

Suze: and when you need help. What is it women? What is it mothers

00:10:21

Suze: that stop you from saying to your kids, I need help.

00:10:27

Suze: I want your help.

00:10:30

Suze: Your role is not to just make sure that everybody else is okay. Your role in life is to make sure that you are okay.

00:10:40

Suze: You a vital human being,

00:10:43

Suze: a mother,

00:10:45

Suze: a sister,

00:10:48

Suze: a woman,

00:10:50

Suze: a woman.

00:10:53

Suze: And yet for some reason, you turn your back on yourself

00:10:58

Suze: to make sure that everybody is still OK.

00:11:03

Suze: And when you use words like that,

00:11:06

Suze: when you don't want others to know the truth about what's going on in your life,

00:11:11

Suze: do you think that you're hiding it from them?

00:11:15

Suze: Do you think that they don't really know? Of course they do.

00:11:20

Suze: Of course they do.

00:11:22

Suze: And if they're your children who really love you and you love them,

00:11:26

Suze: they can feel your pain.

00:11:29

Suze: And they want to help you. But yet, you don't want them to help you.

00:11:34

Suze: You'd rather just break your back and mow this lawn of yours that is taking all weekend after you're working three jobs and you're working 20 hours a day. And yet you still have to mow your grass and you still have to do this. And yet you don't want to ask anybody for help.

00:11:50

Suze: What is the matter with all of you?

00:11:53

Suze: So I'm angry.

00:11:55

Suze: I'm angry because I know what's possible. I even know what's probable.

00:12:02

Suze: I've seen thousands of people turn their lives around.

 

00:12:08

Suze: But those are people who are willing to use words of hope,

 00:12:14

Suze: have feelings of encouragement,

00:12:18

Suze: to not sit there and dwell in anger,

00:12:22

Suze: dwell in fear and dwell in shame.

00:12:27

Suze: Which always brings me back to

00:12:29

Suze: the three internal obstacles to wealth, which are fear, shame and anger.

00:12:34

Suze: And yet you choose,

00:12:37

Suze: you choose to turn to that,

00:12:40

Suze: versus to turn

00:12:42

Suze: in you

00:12:43

Suze: and understand that everything that happens,

00:12:47

Suze: everything is a blessing.

00:12:50

Suze: And

00:12:51

Suze: I know that's not easy to say or easy to believe.

00:12:55

Suze: But you have to

00:12:57

Suze: because what is your alternative?

00:12:59

Suze: What else can you think? What else can you do?

00:13:04

Suze: So this isn't a long podcast today.

00:13:08

Suze: And I'm sure this isn't one that you expected to tune into.

00:13:13

Suze: This isn't even one that I expected to do.

00:13:17

Suze: But I know that when I feel like this,

00:13:21

Suze: it's because not that I'm disappointed in you,

00:13:25

Suze: but it's because I know what's possible for you.

00:13:29

Suze: And I see many of you turning your back on

00:13:33

Suze: your thoughts,

00:13:35

Suze: your feelings,

00:13:37

Suze: on the probability of true happiness.

00:13:41

Suze: Of one day being able to say,

00:13:44

Suze: oh my God, thank God he left me.

00:13:48

Suze: Or evenm thank God she left me.

00:13:51

Suze: Or, thank God I had the courage to leave.

00:13:57

Suze: So,

00:13:58

Suze: I do this podcast in so much love for every single one of you,

00:14:03

Suze: in the desire that every single one of you lives your fullest life.

00:14:10

Suze: A life when you wake up in the morning, where you're happy to wake up. You're happy to go to sleep. You're happy to see people, you are just happy and you feel fulfilled with every breath that you take.

00:14:24

Suze: And how does that happen?

00:14:27

Suze: It happens by making sure that every thought,

00:14:31

Suze: every action,

00:14:33

Suze: everything that you do passes through the three gatekeepers that I've talked to you about.

00:14:39

Suze: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true?

00:14:44

Suze: Are you doing that,

00:14:46

Suze: or are you just finding it easier to dwell in your anger,

00:14:51

Suze: to reside in your fear,

00:14:54

Suze: and to really just sit in your shame.

00:14:59

Suze: I am begging you,

00:15:01

Suze: I am begging you to have faith

00:15:05

Suze: that there is a life out there,

00:15:08

Suze: that is just waiting for you to live it.

00:15:13

Suze: But you have to have faith that you're going to get through this time.

00:15:17

Suze: You have to really believe from the deepest part of your core

00:15:22

Suze: that you can and will do anything.

00:15:27

Suze: That you will not just survive. You will thrive.

00:15:31

Suze: You will once again live the life

00:15:34

Suze: that you've always dreamt of living.

00:15:37

Suze: But you can't live a life of dreams

00:15:41

Suze: when you're spending your time creating nightmares in your thoughts.

00:15:47

Suze: So

00:15:48

Suze: very unexpected podcast from me.

00:15:51

Suze: I hope it's one that you're sitting there going, what the heck was that?

00:15:57

Suze: Maybe you're one of the people that needed to hear what I just said.

00:16:01

Suze: Maybe you're not.

00:16:03

Suze: Maybe you know somebody, however

00:16:05

Suze: who is in that situation, and they need to hear these words.

00:16:11

Suze: So

00:16:11

Suze: maybe you could ask them to listen to this podcast,

00:16:15

Suze: always know

00:16:17

Suze: that every single word,

00:16:20

Suze: whether it sounds harsh,

00:16:22

Suze: whether it sounds angry,

00:16:24

Suze: whether it sounds

00:16:26

Suze: whatever. That I'm giving to Suze slap down

00:16:29

Suze: is grounded

 00:16:30

Suze: in the most incredible love,

00:16:33

Suze: hope,

00:16:35

Suze: and joy in what's possible for every single one of you.

00:16:41

Suze: So until Thursday,

00:16:43

Suze: with another Ask Suze and KT anything when we will both be back.

00:16:48

Suze: There's only one thing that I want for all of you,

00:16:51

Suze: and that's for you to be safe,

00:16:53

Suze: secure and strong.

00:16:57

Suze: See you then. Bye bye.

00:17:00

Music: Music out

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