Podcast Episode - The Seven Words You Should Never, Ever, Ever Say

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On this podcast, Suze says that words are powerful; they have the power to create or the power to destroy, the choice is up to you. She tells us the advice she gave a friend who had lost hope.

Podcast Transcript:

Suze Orman’s Women and Money podcast is proudly sponsored by credit unions; a safe home for your money, rain or shine. September 6, 2020. Suze O. here and welcome to the Women and Money podcast, as well as the men smart enough to listen. And what a week that was last week in the stock market, especially Thursday and Friday. But have to tell you, I'm not going to talk about that today because we need more time to see what's really happening and what's forming out there. But don't say that I kind of didn't warn you about Amazon and all of those stocks. I mean, really, it's like, OK, but that's not what I want to talk about today because I really want to say I'm kind of upset. Actually, let me say that differently, I am really upset because as I look out there on this world, especially in the United States of America, it's like we have two different United States of America's right now. We really do have the "haves" and the "have-nots." Like the haves are having the best time they've had ever. I mean, they're all thrilled with, on some level, what's going down. The availability, especially if they're a corporation, that money is available to them, that everything's going fabulous for them, really financially speaking, believe it or not, in the overall picture because they're almost getting anything that they want and anything that they need. While on the other hand, you have, like 100k businesses, small businesses that are never going to reopen again, and those are the businesses that employ the dishwashers and the waiters and the people that are really, really suffering right now. But it just seems like nobody is focusing on their suffering anymore, it's like they don't even exist. And I think about all the kids out there that used to be able to get fed because their schools were able to feed them, and now the schools aren't feeding them. Some of them can go back to school, most of them cannot. So, they're literally starving and then you have all these people that are caregivers, the caregivers to the elderly, the caregivers to the children that have to stay at home, whatever it is, because you can't send them to school, and it's as if nobody even cares about them anymore. Do you know that just a while ago, $58 billion was given to save the airline industry? OK? The airline industry, $58 billion. How much do you think was given to save caregiving, to help them? $4 billion. And while it is true that there's been a bill that was passed in Congress, everybody, for $60 billion to help the child care industry, that $60 billion bill has been stuck in the Senate forever now, and chances of it passing really are nil. And things like that really upset me, it upsets me, and there are so many have-nots out there that it's not even funny. I mean, you do have people who have been making six figures, six figures, that really are standing in food lines. So maybe you can say to them, well, they should have saved more. Whatever. Listen, this is not the time to be judgmental on what people did or didn't do with money. It's the time to go, what can we do individually to get through this time? Then I look at all the protests and how is it possible, how is it even possible? And I don't care how you think about politics, but that the president of the United States of America is defending a 17-year-old who goes out and kills two people and wounds one, protesters that are just simply protesting for their rights? And all the stuff that's happening from Portland to Kenosha and the violence that's out there now. And really, it's as if nobody could do anything about it. So, then I start talking to my friends and people who have been going through a hard time. Many of you that write in and you tell me what you're going through, and again, one friend in particular of mine who has for the past year, really, she's had it really hard. She had a hard marriage, she's still married, you know, she has kids, she's got to take care of the kids, she's not working. You know, money is tight. And the other day I was talking to her and she said to me, you know, Suze, I just don't have anything to be happy for anymore. And those words, "I have nothing to be happy for," just was like a knife sticking in me because I could see her life. And I see all the things that she doesn't have anything to be happy about because she can't quite change them yet. But then I look at all the other things that are in her life: her family that supports, or her family that loves her, her family, that's willing to take her in and do whatever it takes once, you know, she can leave this situation. But no, she doesn't see any of that. And I have to tell you, oh, it broke my heart. But then I realize she's not the only one, she's not the only one. So many people, possibly half of the United States, if not more, so many people I know are saying, "I've given up hope. There's nothing for me to be happy for anymore." So today's podcast really is The Seven Words You Should Never, Ever, Ever Say because it is so important that you all remember that words are powerful. They have the power to create or the power to destroy, and the choice is up to you. How many times have I said to you that your thoughts create your destiny and to be very, very careful about what you think because what you think you will eventually say. Be very careful about the words, the words that you use, because your words turn into your actions, your actions turn into your destiny. So you have to be very, very careful. I've also talked to you about be careful, never say anything. And I just recently said this in a podcast a little bit ago but I'm going to repeat it. That everything that you think, say, and do has to pass through three gatekeepers. Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? And when you say words like, "I have nothing to be happy for," it is really important that you don't make those words true because if you keep saying it, oh, they will become true. You may think you have it bad now, oh, just give yourself a little time if you keep saying things like that. And when you say something like that, really, what you're essentially saying, is that you have nothing to be happy for, which means you have nothing to be grateful for. And so, you've got to live a life that you have gratitude. Because if you don't have gratitude in your life, what do you have? You really just have nothing, and you have bitterness and you have anger. And again, how many times have I said to you that anger is the main internal obstacle to wealth? I don't care how brilliant you are, I don't care how incredible of a resume you have, I don't care what you have going on for you. If you have internal anger, you are angry at your situation, you're blaming it on somebody else. You're angry at others, you will destroy, I promise you this is true, you will destroy any and every possibility that could ever come your way. You will be the one who shuts the doors down. Nobody wants to be around somebody who is angry, nobody. If they want them out of their lives and don't want to be around that, they have enough with just keeping their own lives happy in their own lives in check. Because everybody's going through something right now, something with the pandemic, whatever it may be, everybody is going through something so they need to be around positive people and happy people and people who are filled with gratitude. So, after talking to this friend of mine the other day, I wrote her an email and I want to read that email to you because I think it can change how you feel about things. And it's a powerful email, some of them, obviously, my words most somebody else's that I'm going to tell you about in a second. But it is a message that I think is really, really important right here and right now, with all the fighting, all the sickness, all the poverty, all the confusion, all the unemployment, all the divorces that are happening, whatever it is. I think this is a really important message, and it goes like this. My dear friend, just so you know, gratitude is another word for happiness. It has upset me so to hear you say you have nothing to be happy for, which means you have nothing to be grateful for, which again is such a heartbreak for me. Please read this and just contemplate it, it was sent in love and hope for true movement on your path. The following was written by a woman by the name of Joni Patry, and it was written in 2005 and it is taken from her book Awaken the Power Within You. It is an entire chapter on gratitude and it goes like this. Gratitude is a feeling to come from a place of thanks. Show your appreciation when others are grateful towards you for what you have done, it makes you want to do more for them. This has the same effect on the universe. When you are grateful for that which you receive from your life, you put a positive, loving energy out towards all that is and it will only create more. You want to give to those you feel are grateful and not those who have no appreciation for what you have given them. Gratefulness makes life flow with ease the way it is supposed to be. If you focus on what you don't have, instead of what you do have you will attract more of what you don't have. You are in essence, being ungrateful for what you do have if your focus is on what you don't have. Gratitude is giving thanks for the blessings in your life. Take the time each day to focus on one thing that you are most grateful for on that day. Then, at the end of the week, take an inventory of all the things you gave thanks for during the week. Write all this down, keep this list in a box. At the time of the full moon each month, take the list out and re-read them all. Feel with emotion how fortunate you are for receiving all these blessings. Although you may feel there is a power outside yourself that is granting you these blessings, you must realize you have played a major role in multiplying these gifts. When we focus on what is right in our lives instead of what is wrong, we become part of the universal flow. To concentrate on what is wrong stops the flow and causes blocks and setbacks. There will always be something that appears wrong with everything because the world isn't perfect and not according to our expectations, and what one considers wrong may not be so to another. If you have a picture of a beautiful forest and there is one dead tree, focusing on the one dead tree instead of the thousands of healthy, beautiful trees will cause you to lose focus of the big picture. Life doesn't flow and you will be caught up in the negativity. Let life flow and focus on its beauty even though there are some imperfections. The imperfections have their merit, for there is a reason for everything. The dead tree in the forest must die to fertilize the ground for the other trees to grow. Don't dwell on the apparent imperfections. This is a form of acceptance, for there is a reason for everything, and everything is in divine perfection. If you cannot change things, then there is no use worrying about them. To accept things the way they are and focus on the beauty in life will create a flow and harmony for more giving and a life full of prosperity. Being in a state of gratitude and appreciation is a very positive state of mind. To be joyful in this will attract more of this feeling to you. To appreciate the beauty and gifts you have will only multiply more of this in your life. Your outside world is always a reflection of what is going on inside you. So, if your home is in disarray, then this means there is confusion within you. What a beautiful reflection you will see in your world if you have gratitude. You will come to a point where you understand why you are here. You will understand that each and every person you perceive as a threat or who hurt you has given you the divine insight. The issues and feelings you need to release. We come to a place of gratitude for our suffering for the suffering woke us up to the exact problems that were keeping us from our realization. We thank the people who hurt us the most for they have given us insight into our soul so we could see the real issues in us that we need to change so that we can come to the place of an unenlightened soul. It is all in an inner-journey to reveal the attitudes that keep us from this ultimate realization. Resentments are the powerful emotions that keep us reincarnating here on earth to workout. We are so emotionally attached to these resentments, so ending of a life does not end your own cycle of misery, it only hurts you in the big scheme of things. Our teachers are the ones who activate our resentments the very most. If you can recognize they are here to teach you, that you are here to release these resentments, then you will be full of great gratitude. This realization will give you the freedom and realization of what you came here to learn. You will be free, never suffer, or hurt again. You will know only love. This isn't about forgiveness, for there is nothing to forgive. This is one of the most important keys to the ultimate understanding. Forgiveness means there is something wrong. There is nothing wrong, our focus needs to be on what is right instead of what is wrong. Gratitude focuses on what is right. There is only gratitude in all of this. Gratitude will release you from suffering and pain of this world. You are love, joy, happiness, and oneness. You are part of the almighty power, you are one with God. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life, it turns what we have into enough and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past and brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. That last paragraph, everybody, was a quote by Melody Beattie that is in the chapter, "Gratitude" of the book that Joni Patry wrote called Awaken the Power Within You. So recently, I was reading something else by Joni, and she said that she went back to this chapter that she wrote in 2005 on gratitude because she herself was having a hard time with some of the things that were going on and her thoughts and things like that. And here's what she said. After re-reading this chapter, I've again realized everything is happening for a divine reason, and we are here to grow in awareness, consciousness, and spirituality. Then there must be an important lesson in these trying times. And she's now, everybody, talking about what's going on today. Even though it may seem impossible to find something to be grateful for at this time, it is the only way to overcome the negativity rampant on the planet now. When you come from a place of gratitude, you come from a place of love and perceive the world from a place of love, acceptance, and beauty. You will receive and create wonderment and happiness in your life, and this multiplies outward into the world. I found this to be really incredible, and as you know, I sent it to my friend and she read it and she wrote me back and she said, thank you. Then, a little bit after that, maybe it was a few days, she wrote to me and she said, I'm having a better day today. She said, I actually had two positive thoughts and I did something kind for somebody else. And as time has gone on now you can see and hear when you talk to her that she's happier now and she's made a turn. So the reason that I read this to you is that I thought if my friend can make a turn, for those of you who may be identifying with those seven words, "I have nothing to be happy for," maybe this podcast today will help you see things just a little bit differently and that you never, ever, ever say those words again. Hi, I'm Sarah, and I'm Robert, and we're from Suze Orman's Women and Money podcast team here to tell you that Alloya's member credit unions are so proud to have brought you this episode. You know, Robert, credit unions live by people helping people philosophy. Absolutely, Sarah. And that means when you bank with a credit union, you can trust that they have your best interest at heart. The fact is, regardless of circumstance, a credit union will have your back and keep your money safe, that's the credit union promise. Go to www.MyCreditUnion.gov to find a credit union that fits your needs. That's MyCreditUnion.gov. In providing answers neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman is acting as a Certified Financial Planner, advisor, a Certified Financial Analyst, an economist, CPA, accountant, or lawyer. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman makes any recommendations as to any specific securities or investments. All content is for informational and general purposes only and does not constitute financial, accounting or legal advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and financial advisors regarding your particular situation. Neither Suze Orman Media nor Suze Orman accepts any responsibility for any loss, which may arise from accessing or reliance on the information in this podcast and to the fullest extent permitted by law, we exclude all liability for loss or damages, direct or indirect, arising from use of the information.

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